The intertubes home of author Robert Lanham

Robert Lanham is the Margaret Mead of the North American Weirdo - Neal Pollack

    == BOOKS ==

• the hipster handbook

• food court druids,
cherohonkees and other
creatures unique to the republic


• the sinner's guide to the
evangelical right



    == ANTHOLOGIES ==

• cassette from my ex

• rock & roll cagematch

• bookmark now

• the subway chronicles


    == RECENT ARTICLES ==

• Internet-Age Writing Syllabus and Course Overview
McSweeney's

• Palin Holds Press Conference to Explain Last Press Conference
HuffPost

• Obama's Silence on "Bruno" Outrages Activists
HuffPost

• Pat Buchanan: 'Lesbian Coalition of America Discriminates Against White Males'
HuffPost

• Giving the Recession the Finger
Salon

• Look at This Fucking Hipster Basher
The Morning News

• The random beauty of "25 Random Things"
Salon

• Obama Dislocates Shoulder Reaching Across the Aisle
HuffPost

• Maxim's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypse
Maxim

• 33 Stupid Sex Tips
Street Carnage

• Rick Warren's Non-Negotiable Worldview
HuffPost

• The Gotcha Effect of Civil Unions
HuffPost

• Macho Ma'am
Radar

• Generation Slap
Radar

• America's religious right: God's own country
The Independent

• Wearing Nothing but Attitude
New York Times

• Why Sonic Youth and Frappuccinos don't mix
men.style.com

• Kafka on the Shore Review
Nylon


    == PRESS ==

• Press Quotes

• Your Life: Highly Classified, By Robert Lanham
  Washington Post profile of Robert Lanham

• Book Breaks Down Evangelical Right for 'Sinners'
Ethics Daily Profile

• Brand Name Bloggers
New York Magazine


    == WEBSITES ==

• freewilliamsburg.com
• evangelicalright.com
• hipsterhandbook.com
• foodcourtdruids.com


    == FRIENDS ==

• lanesisland
• cakehead
• rumproast
• andiamnotlying



    == THE MAN ==

• about robert lanham
• wikipedia page
• myspace
• facebook
• tumblr
• twitter
• hypemachine
• contact me


    == CURRENTLY READING ==




follow robertlanham at http://twitter.com

January 31, 2010

I'm Yale Worthy!

I got a really nice mention in the Yale Daily News.

In closing his talk, Monks read a popular piece from McSweeney’s entitled “Internet Age Writing and Course Overview” by Robert Lanham. The piece is written as an English class syllabus but satirizes the new state of writing on the Internet, from blogs to Twitter and Facebook. The “course” covered everything from “Week 1: reading is stoopid” to “Week 5: I can haz writing skillz?” and demanded “ENG: 231WR — Facebook Wall Alliteration and Assonance” and “ENG: 232WR — Advanced Tweeting: The Elements of Droll” as prerequisites, among others. Monks said the piece exemplified what McSweeney’s tried to publish: “pop-culture oriented conceptual humor.”
Thanks Christopher! Here's the piece.

January 13, 2010

Chocolate & Cheese and Striped Bass

dean-ween.jpg

I recently went fishing with Dean Ween which was, well, awesome. From Vice:

Since getting his captain’s license last summer, Mickey Melchiondo, better known as Dean Ween, has been leading fishing tours off Long Beach Island, New Jersey. He’s the kind of skipper who also kindly gives shelter to anglers when there’s room in his trailer the night before and books it all himself through the magic of a lo-fi internet information page, mickeysfishing.com.

Mickey also has his own online fishing series called the Brownie Troop Fishing Show that’s kind of like that old Fishing With John series hosted by actor and musician John Lurie, but without the irony. The Deaner is dead fucking serious about fishing.

“Lurie’s show was more about the guests,” Mickey told me. “Mine is about the fishing.”

So far Mickey’s posted 11 episodes on brownietroopfs.com, a site that also looks like a 16-year-old designed it in 1996. Go there to watch guests like Butthole Surfers’ own Gibby Haynes get blind drunk and say stuff like “I dunno where the fuckin’ stern is.”

Like the rest of the world, I’ve been a fan of Ween since the early 90s, so of course I had to sign up for a Mickey-helmed fishing trip. As a committed landlubber with wobbly sea legs, I was plenty OK when Mickey called and said he’d prefer to surfcast. He had just returned from tour and finds it more relaxing. But at $300 a whirl, you might want to consider making him hoist the anchor instead.

More over at Vice. And you can check out that Gibby Haynes video over at www.brownietroopfs.com.

December 22, 2009

My Baker's Dozen For 2009

This is what I was listening to this year. The obvious oversight is Dirty Projectors. I appreciated their record—and they are flawless live—but I just didn't listen to them enough to add Bitte Orca to my list. In addition to the records below, I'm totally addicted to Adron's self-released first record which came out in 2008. Do yourself a favor and go buy it now.

Overall, 2009 was really a great year for music and I was happy to be in Brooklyn which has become the epicenter for the indie music scene.

13. Passion Pit
Manners
[Columbia/Frenchkiss]
drift.jpg 12. Nosaj Thing
Drift
[Alpha Pup]
vibert.jpg 11. Luke Vibert
We Hear You
(Planet Mu)
10. Yeah Yeah Yeahs
It's Blitz!
[Interscope]
nasa.jpg 9. N.A.S.A.
The Spirit of Apollo
[Anti]
8. M. Ward
Hold Time
[Merge Records]
7. The xx
The xx
[Young Turks]
6. Allen Toussaint
The Bright Mississippi
[NoneSuch]
5. Fiery Furnaces
I'm Going Away
[Thrill Jockey]
lovelanguage.jpg 4. The Love Language
The Love Language
[Bladen County; 2009]
3. Grizzly Bear
Veckatimest
[Warp]
2. Animal Collective
Merriweather Post Pavilion
[Domino]
1. Girls
Album
[True Panther/Matador]


Update: I just posted FREEwilliamsburg's list too. Check it out here.

December 15, 2009

Golden Globe Nominations Announced, Lieberman to Filibuster

Please, make Lieberman go away. I've got a new one up on Huffington Post satirizing the whole debacle.

Just hours after the nominations for the 67th annual Golden Globe Awards were announced, Senator Joe Lieberman of Connecticut threatened to filibuster the ceremony should key concessions fail to be met.

"Unless Vince Vaughn gets a nod for his excellent work in Couples Retreat," said Lieberman, "I just cannot support the nominations. Sure, the American people love George Clooney and he was great in Up in the Air," continued Lieberman. "But if Vaughn is overlooked in the Best Actor category, I will have no choice but to filibuster."

Read it all.

December 07, 2009

Obama to Let Congress Decide If White House Card Should Say "Happy Holidays" or "Merry Christmas"

I've got a new piece over at The Huffington Post. Here's a taste:

Determined to avoid mistakes made by previous administrations, Obama announced on Friday that he'd let Congress be responsible for the language used on the White House's annual holiday card.

"War on Christmas reform is one of the most important issues facing our nation today," said Press Secretary Robert Gibbs. "Should the president send out a card that says 'Merry Christmas?' Should it say 'Happy Holidays?' Does using an image of Frosty the Snowman on the cover become more inclusive if Frosty's wearing a colorful Kwanzaa vest and lighting a Menorah? These are all important questions for Congress to consider," said Gibbs. [...]

Though the war on Christmas debate is far-reaching, the public's attention has culminated around the White House card controversy. Fox News commentator Glenn Beck alleged that Obama is "passing the buck" about the card for religious reasons

"Wake up people, he's a Muslim," said Beck on Fox News, adorned in a hand-knit sweater with a large Santa stitched into its front (pictured).

"I don't even know if they have Christmas in Kenya," said Beck. "If Obama had his way, the White House card would read 'Happy Ramadan' and feature a picture of Santa driving a sleigh strapped with explosives."

Read it all here.

December 06, 2009

Another Quote About Wes Anderson In SF Weekly

Evidently, this story was syndicated all over the place:

Then, the air came out of the tires. Released in 2004, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou cost $60 million and took in $24 million. The more modestly budgeted Darjeeling Limited grossed $12 million in 2007, $5 million less than Rushmore. These were commercial failures, sure, but the critics were also starting to pile on. Phrases like "too precious," "cloying" and "detached" popped up more and more in Anderson's reviews.

In one case of hipster cannibalization, The Hipster Handbook author Robert Lanham, writing for the ubercool Viceland Web site, said of The Life Aquatic: "Wes Anderson doesn't make movies anymore. He creates overly precious paintings inhabited by emasculated man-children who knit sweater vests to the accompaniment of Belle & Sebastian while fantasizing that they're macho enough to skin a caribou with a pocketknife. The set pieces to The Life Aquatic are stunning, but watching this film is like visiting the Natural History Museum. It's a beautiful building, but most of its pleasures are filled with lifeless things."

For the record, I think Wes is back. Fantastic Mr. Fox was his best film in years. It's great to see him back on track.

November 10, 2009

New York Says I'm One Of The 'Five Voices That Matter in the Music Blogosphere'

splash091116_lead_365x275.jpg

New York Magazine has a long-overdue cover story on the Brooklyn music scene and the thing is pretty epic. The article discusses the latest wave of a-list indie bands—Animal Collective, Grizzly Bear, Antlers, TV on the Radio—and canonizes the Dirty Projectors as "the most risk-taking" group of the crop:

Bitte Orca, it turns out, is Dirty Projectors' real New York album, an urbane and sophisticated outgrowth of the most fertile new-music environment the city has seen since the CBGB heyday of the seventies. It is no coincidence that it came out within months of beloved albums by two giants of the local scene—Animal Collective's Merriweather Post Pavilion and Grizzly Bear's Veckatimest. These three bands do not sound alike. Animal Collective layers lush, romantic harmonies on top of kooky, heavily sampled orchestrations, a sound that is equal parts madness and impeccable logic. Grizzly Bear has a much more down-to-earth, folky approach, reveling in the pure pleasure of melodies and the ways they can be turned inside out and upside down. But the three bands all embrace many of the same virtues: fearless sincerity, devotion to craft, agnosticism about digital technology (which is to say, they use it but don't fetishize it), profound musical curiosity, ingenuity at using the human voice as an instrument, and an uncanny ability to reproduce their complex material in live performance (in no small part because this is where the money is).

The author was kind enough to include a quote by yours truly:

Meanwhile, a more studious, art-focused scene was coalescing around a Williamsburg band called TV on the Radio, which released its label debut EP Young Liars in 2003. "They had art-punk, gospel, freak folk‚ everything interesting that was going on in Brooklyn," says Robert Lanham, the freewilliamsburg.com blogger, who has lived in the neighborhood since 1996. "TV on the Radio was just a completely different organism."

And later, they deem FREEwilliamsburg one of the "Five Voices That Matter in the Music Blogosphere." Yahoo!

robert-lanham-new-york.jpg

Critics will of course say this article came a tad late, but the real arguments will revolve around their Brooklyn Top 40 list. (I was happy to see it included zero Hold Steady songs—hipster frat rock). Still, it was nice to see New York paying respect to the amazing music scene that has emerged. As I told the reporter, it's the most exciting time to be making (and listening to) music in the city since the late Eighties.

October 29, 2009

The Ten Most Dubious Films included in the Criterion Collection

I just wrote a snarky little listicle for Vice:

To be released by Criterion is the benchmark of excellence. Their 25-year-old catalog includes indispensable work from masters including Cocteau, Renoir, Maysles, Kubrick, Cronenberg, Godard, Kurosawa, Bergman, Tarkovsky, Hitchcock, Sturges, and, of course, Fellini.


It’s an impressive list of talent, which is why you can imagine my surprise when I arrived at the director responsible for film #40 in their catalog. Michael Bay. That’s right, Michael Bay, the dung beetle of cinematic vapidity, best known for his unparalleled skill at rolling oversized balls of shit into our nation’s cineplexes. If you’re not familiar with his work--is this possible?--Bay is responsible for Bad Boys I & II, Pearl Harbor, and Transformers, not to mention the career of Megan Fox. (She hates him too). Currently, Bay is remaking The Birds, which I’m assuming will be re-imagined to include a bikini-clad Maxim covergirl who blows away blood-sucking zombie pigeons with a grenade launcher.

Check out the list here.

October 28, 2009

A Short Mention In The New Yorker

Now if I can just get in Shouts & Murmers...

new-yorker.gif

October 23, 2009

Pope Benedict Offers Full Communion to Anglicans and Rappers

2009-10-22-1_22_042105_pope_benedict.jpg

I've got a new piece over at Huffington Post in response to the Pope's latest ungodliness. Here's a taste:

Perhaps responding to criticism that he's out of step with the times, Benedict extended his invitation to the rap community using language that is most commonly associated with hip hop lyrics.

"Rappers can be assured that I won't be hatin' if they rhyme about ho's and queers. I won't be getting up on their dick, no homo," said Benedict.

Read it all.

October 18, 2009

An Amazing Stop Animation Film Using Cardboard

October 14, 2009

Cassette from My Ex: Stories and Soundtracks of Lost Loves

cover_photo.jpg

I'm in a great new anthology called Cassette from My Ex that's slotted for release October 27th. Here's the scoop:

Cassette from My Ex: Stories and Soundtracks of Lost Loves shares sixty hilarious, nostalgic and heartbreaking stories stories all about crushes and mixtapes. CFME compiles stories from some amazing writers and musicians: author Rick Moody, The Magnetic Fields’ Claudia Gonson, This American LIfe’s Starlee Kine, The New Yorker’s Ben Greenman, Blender Magazine’s Joe Levy, Improv Everywhere’s Charlie Todd, Mortified’s David Nadelberg—even a new story from the godfather of the genre, Rob Sheffied. We put a ton of love into the design, too, with 224 full-color pages designed by noted cassetteophile Lissi Erwin, with cover illustrations by the excellent Hope Gangloff.
There will be a release party at Housing Works in NY on the 28th, so come on out if you can. You can pre-order here.